


Double Trouble

by ScooterThyme



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Poor Dan, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 05:09:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScooterThyme/pseuds/ScooterThyme
Summary: Oh, heaven help Dan... there'stwoof him.





	Double Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I'd love to see in a season 4. I want the show to run with the idea of Lucifer and Michael being twins (as many writers here have), with Tom Ellis arguing and snarking at himself on a split-screen, and just knocking it out of the park. It would be far more epic than anything I could come up with here, but darn it, I thought I'd have fun trying.
> 
> Thanks to Flutterflap for the quick beta, on zero notice! <3

Dan strode through the precinct, clearing his mind. He wasn’t working on any particularly tough cases at the moment, and he looked forward to allowing himself a bit more of a relaxing break this afternoon than usual. He had his pudding, his spoon, a fresh playlist on his phone, and a brand new set of headphones to break in. Life was going alright.

Then he walked past one of the conference rooms, and his world started to shatter.

Behind the glass was Lucifer, engaged in a heated argument with… _Lucifer?_  


* * *

  
Mirror images of the same man squared off, neither seeming to get an advantage over the other in their war of words. Hissed whispers quickly grew into low level shouts, and about that time, Chloe Decker recognized the familiar accent and wandered over to see what was happening.

Briefly distracted by a rowdy suspect being brought into the bullpen, she hadn’t bothered to actually look inside until she’d already begun to pull the door open to the conference room. Across from her, Dan stood seemingly frozen in place, his eyes fixed on the room’s occupants. He looked practically terrified.

Chloe was a pretty reasonable and rational person. She was generally open to suggestions, but she particularly loved evidence and facts. Having recently seen the literal face of the Devil himself--who was apparently her partner after all--had shaken her pretty hard, and she was still trying to make sense of the world with fresh eyes. Seeing _two_ Lucifers now all but screaming at each other was not helping.

They were virtually indistinguishable, in every sense of the word. The only differences Chloe could immediately discern were their patterns of pocket squares and the fact that one of them was wearing a tie. Even their suits were identical, save for their slightly different shades of gray. She felt her jaw dropping open, snapping it shut and blinking as she pulled on the door.

“ _What the hell is going on??_ ”

Neither Lucifer had noticed her presence until she was the one shouting, and they both looked startled.

“Exactly!” yelled the one furthest from her, at the same time the nearer one said, “That’s what I’m trying to figure out!”

Chloe’s mom face turned on. Despite having only one child, she could settle kids’ arguments just as well as the best of her peers. She cocked her head slightly, raised one eyebrow, and very slowly shut the door behind her. The air she put on was universal.

The doubles in front of her gulped.

The nearer one, without a tie, looked back and forth between them, now showing significantly more panic than the other.

“Detective, I can explain.”

“Good. Because if you can’t, one of us is going to need a psych eval, and I’m pretty sure we know who’d be the more likely one they’d default to.” She didn’t sound quite as confident as usual, but her point was still taken.

“ _Right_.” The non-tie Lucifer said. He was starting to look slightly defeated, as his mirror with-tie grew a smirk. It didn’t go unnoticed, and received a squinting scowl.

“How rude of you, brother! Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Tie-Lucifer bowed forward slightly, hands clasped in front of him, his very eyes mocking his double.

“Detective, this is my right arsehole of a brother Michael. Michael, this is Detective Chloe Decker, my partner.” He gestured to both of them in turn, his eyes brightening as he called Chloe his partner. The room was silent for a few moments, both angels obviously giving the sole human some extra processing time. The detective’s eyes slowly rose to the ceiling, now more out of habit than anything, and she drew a large sigh.

“OK. So should I assume _the_ Michael, as in...?”

“The bastard who led everyone on Father’s side during my rebellion? Yes, _that_ Michael.” Lucifer said it as lightly as though it were small talk, but the sarcasm bled through easily.

“Right, because that’s literally the _only_ thing you can think of to--” Michael started towards his brother, but Chloe had come between them now and held up her hands, hitting both of them in the chest as they advanced at the same time.

“ _CHILDREN!_ ”

The angels stopped, staring at the detective in awe.

“I swear to… to _your dad_. You’re all worse than _children!_ ”

Both brothers now had the decency to look properly sheepish at her outburst. Michael slowly raised his hand to point at Chloe, eyeing Lucifer with concern.

“Wait, does she know?”

“Does she know what, that the Devil has terribly annoying siblings? Yes, she’s well aware.”

Chloe was not used to hearing that smooth accent in stereo, and she wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to handle it. Some days dealing with one moody angel was almost too much. She really didn’t want to find out just how similar his twin may or may not be, especially if this first encounter was anything at all to go by. She was still working on digesting the whole celestial-beings-are-legit thing. Chloe closed her eyes slowly and sighed. Again.

When she spoke, she did so slowly, her voice almost threatening.

“Does this have anything to do with a case?”

“Well no, but--”

“Does this have anything to do with anybody else in this building?”

“Not exactly--”

“Then take. It. Elsewhere.”

The brothers had already backed off, and the air in the room started to feel more settled, if not less awkward. Michael pulled on the lapels of his jacket. Lucifer adjusted his cufflinks. Neither looked at the other.

Michael was the first to leave, striding confidently out the door and nearly running over Ella in the process.

“Oh! Apologies, Miss Lopez.”

“No biggie! Nice tie, by the way,” Ella grinned, pointing finger-guns at him. He jerked his head up slightly, as if confused. He quickly shut the door behind him, and hastily made his way up to the landing. Ella studied him as he left, knowing something was off, but not quite being able to put a finger on what it was.

Back inside the conference room, a certain detective was staring up at the Devil with pleading eyes and a pained expression on her face.

“Can you just, I dunno, _warn_ me when another one of your siblings pops up? It’s hard enough to deal with one of you at a time. I mean you’re kind of a handful all by yourself.”

“Oh, I think I’m much more than a handful, darling,” Lucifer replied, cocky grin plastered on his face. Then he cleared his throat, turning less playful. “But yes, to the best of my abilities, I will inform you when my relatives stop by for a visit. Though I usually don’t know myself, until they actually show up. You’ve no idea how annoying it is.”

“Yeah, I think I actually have a clue about it, now. But thanks. Now… go finish your argument or whatever. We don’t exactly have a heavy caseload at the moment, so it’s not a big deal.” Chloe reached over to lightly squeeze Lucifer’s hand, and gave him a grin. He returned it.

Lucifer realized that Chloe had kept hold of his hand as he turned to leave. “Detective?”

“Just try not to beat the crap out of each other. I know you don’t have the best relationship with most of your brothers.”

“You have my word that… I will try.” He squeezed her hand in return.

With his eyes still on Chloe, Lucifer bumped straight into Ella on his way out of the conference room.

“My dear Miss Lopez, I am terribly sorry!” he said, grabbing her shoulders to prevent her from falling face-first. Not wanting his brother to get too far ahead of him, he made sure Ella was upright, and then all but ran up the stairs and out of the precinct.

“Ok, what just happened?” said Ella, more to herself than anyone in particular.

Chloe came up behind her, the first one out of the room not to mow her down, and briefly patted her shoulder as she walked by.

“Apparently Lucifer’s got a twin brother.” Her expression said she was more than 100% done with the day, despite nothing else of note having happened. The detective exchanged a sad and knowing look across to her ex as she continued walking away. Ella could only blink, glancing between her friends. When she finally processed enough to snap out of it, she raced after Chloe.

“Oh my god, he does? _That’s so cool!!_ ”  


* * *

  
Dan watched the entire exchange, not even lasting a full five minutes, with his mouth hanging open. He’d dropped his spoon at some point. He was fairly certain it was laying on the floor along with his sanity, and possibly most of his hope.

His new headphones had worked well, canceling out any of the outside sound before he’d even queued up the playlist. The scene he’d just witnessed was essentially a silent movie for him. It didn’t really matter what he’d missed in terms of dialogue. He was pretty sure he figured out enough context from the action alone.

This was apparently his life now. Two Lucifer Morningstars.

Dan looked at the pudding cup in his hand, pretending to study it. Desperately trying to pretend it was more important than what had just gone down. He frowned, and tossed it into the nearest trash can without even looking.

**Author's Note:**

> Addendum:  
>  _Contest Entry for Lucifans.TV Fanfic Contest 2018_


End file.
